WTB: Purse and Girdle

Redder · Post by **Redder** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 1:17 am

I am looking for a new purse, preferably with gold in it - and Loki, I'm sure you must have a few spare ones of which I'm sure one was mine. It would be easily identifyable by a hole that was burning through the bottom of it from the massive amount of gold it was holding - all 10gp's of it!

I am also looking for a new girdle, I have outgrown my current one. In fact my persona has seen nothing but growth and expansion since joining this land, but enough about my diet. It doesn't need any magical powers other than removing 6 inches from my stomach and adding 4 inches to my chest - but given my current form, the magical power needed may exceed even the best of the studiers of arcane. This is important as the undead laugh themselves to undeath each time I waddle towards them!

If you are female and willing to part with your girdle, this is perfectly acceptable as I can always unstich the top part and since it's under my armour, color is also not important and I'm not afraid to wear a pink one with purple poker dots if it suits the purpose. It must be strong and be willing to undergo the punishment necessary for me to put it on.

Anyone willing to part with such glorious items may contact me here.

Oh, and if anyone has a spare set of black armoured trousers, I seem to have burned a hole in the rear of mine after consuming the bettle belly flambe made special for me by a little 'ling.

Thankyou,

Kell · Post by **Kell** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 1:42 am

*blinks, slowly backs away*

Shalandravv · Post by **Shalandravv** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:14 am

*Raises her eyebrow and follow suit, breaking into a run*

lankycheese · Post by **lankycheese** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:49 am

*Takes the Ale out of Redders hand*

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:17 am

It's alright everybody. *turns and gives Redder a stern looks* You've been licking the bellies of swamp toads again, haven't you Redder. tsk tsk.

Redder · Post by **Redder** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:54 am

It is the smithies daughter,
...And she has grown so dear, so dear,
That I would be the jewel
...That trembles in her ear:
For hid in ringlets day and night,
I'd touch her neck so warm and white.

And I would be the girdle
...About her dainty dainty waist,
And her heart would beat against me,
...In sorrow and in rest:
And I should know if it beat right,
I'd clasp it round so close and tight.

And I would be the necklace,
...And all day long to fall and rise
Upon her balmy bosom,
...With her laughter or her sighs:
And I would lie so light, so light,
I scarce should be unclasp'd at night.

And now I untie the girdle
...About her dainty dainty waist
and she looked at me in horror
....as off I ran - in haste, in haste:
I have now my desire this day
The smithies daughter I did betray

Cheers....

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 5:16 am

Hahaha...that was great, Redder. *takes the beer off Lanky and hands it back to Redder* Ah, he deserves it after that bit of rhyme. Just lay off the toads, will ya.

Redder · Post by **Redder** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:41 am

The toad had to pause as it had run out of breath
while keeping ahead of the chase.
But it was all too aware that it was facing its death
if it could not maintain the pace.

As Redder had found that it just wasn't to be
when already two thirds through his spell.
It had needed 'lick of toad' but the jar was empty
and his neighbours had run out as well.

It knew it could not run. It knew it had to hide.
To get away or just to rest.
And, as it looked around, a chicken it spied
innocent and content on its nest.

Now this frog was bright and had been 'round a bit
and it had some knowledge of this spell.
It knew that Redder, if he couldn't catch it,
could settle for a 'bird's lick' just as well.

The chicken saw it coming and thought it was best
to get off and step to one side.
It settled back once the toad had dived into the nest
allowing its fellow creature to hide.

Not a moment too soon. As Redder arrived then
and just stood there looking around.
The hen looked at he and he looked at the hen
neither of them making a sound.

The hen rose once again but of toads th' nest was bare.
and Redder could see nothing but eggs.
Then it pecked at the straw and the toad leapt in the air
for the chicken had pecked at its legs.

For the chicken had also known what Redder would try
if he found it alone in its abode.
It knew the danger it had been put in and that was the reason why
the chicken had double-crossed the toad.

Cheers....

Jimmy · Post by **Jimmy** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:45 am

haha, that really is incredible Redder! Great stuff!

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:04 am

Hahaha. That was great, man.

Mad Season · Post by **Mad Season** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:50 pm

OMG, THAT is a HORRIBLE pun!

But a great story. Please keep it up!

Stonehammer · Post by **Stonehammer** » Thu Jun 24, 2004 4:56 pm

I LOVE these forums. They never cease to amaze me with their ability to have people go derail them and yet keep alive and amusing!

Ohio41 · Post by **Ohio41** » Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:38 am

What can we say...we love ourselves just as wel!

Kell · Post by **Kell** » Fri Jun 25, 2004 5:37 am

The Duke of the Ebon Rose wrote:What can we say...we love ourselves just as wel!

Yes, well, we all need someone to love.

Shalandravv · Post by **Shalandravv** » Fri Jun 25, 2004 1:25 pm

Redder, you are a master of the rhyme.